The Piratical Adventures of Alice Kirkland
by TheNextAliceOwO
Summary: AU Alice follows her pirate brother, Arthur onto his pirate ship in order to explore the world. Multiple pairings centered around UK and/or Fem!UK
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N:**_ I was bound to start a Hetalia fic some day anyway~

Either way, Nyotalia characters are included as the siblings of their normal Hetalia counterparts. Human names are used. So…

Fem!England = Alice

England = Arthur

You get the point. :D

_**-TheNextAliceOwO-**_

_A breeze blew over the two as their faces became closer. Janette felt a tear roll down her cheek as she looked into Roberts deep blue eyes. His lips parted for a second and the distance between them was only an inch. She prepared for what she had been waiting for for three years… And then-_

"Alice?"

My heart raced as I heard my brothers ascending the staircase. I slammed the book closed and shoved it under my pillow as quickly as I could. My brother opened the door and I was trying to act as natural as possible, but I knew my face was flushed.

He raised an eyebrow. "What on earth were you doing?"

Dammit, I haven't prepared for this one. "Um… Thinking about… girl things."

" 'Girl things,' " he repeated, his eyebrows raised.

"Yuh huh, girl things," I bit my lip and shifted, trying to make sure I covered up the book well. "Like whether I should marry Jack Rutherford from across the street."

My brother walked towards me threateningly, after all, he knew me too well to know that I despised every fiber of that man's being. He slid his hand under my pillow and pulled out the thin book that I had been reading a minute earlier.

"You're reading this trash again?" he sighed and I began to feel my face flush with anger.

"It's a great novel!" I asserted, glaring at him with all intent to prove him wrong.

" 'Great?' It's about a woman who dresses up as a boy to follow a man into the navy! It's indecent!"

"It's not indecent, Arthur!" I stood up and looked at him straight in the eye, the hair on my neck rising.

My brother sighed, knowing that he would not be able to convince me. He turned his back on me as if in exasperation. "Molly has prepared dinner."

I followed him downstairs, still slightly fuming. Of course, after I thought about it, maybe I shouldn't have acted like that if I wanted to ask him for such a huge favor.

We sat down at our usual places at our grand dinner table. Arthur always sat at the head of the table and I sat on his right. The sea-borne smell of lobster filled the room as Molly, our maid, served our meal.

An awkward aura surrounded us as Molly poured Arthur some wine. I began to eat, keeping my eye on Arthur as he took a sip out of his wine. After I finished chewing and Arthur was just about to begin his meal, I coughed, signaling that I wanted to speak.

Arthur raised an eyebrow at me, but remained silent, signaling that I could speak.

"About how you're going to depart tomorrow…" I began, and Arthur immediately rolled his eyes, making his answer apparent.

_I knew it._ I immediately felt myself become heated with anger. I stood up. "Why not? I'm tired of living my entire life in this house!"

"You're just too in love with that stupid novel you've been reading," Arthur said nonchalantly.

"It's not just that!" I snapped, "I'm tired of being stuck here! Why can't I go out and explore like you?"

Arthur glared at me. "Because you're a woman! It's your job to be a proper lady and get ready for the main purpose of your life." Although that was what he said, I could sense in the back of my mind that there was more to his reasoning, but I was too furious to question it.

"Marriage? Becoming a wife?" I slammed my hands down on the table. "How am I supposed to do that if I can't even cook?"

"You can learn," Arthur began. "It's a woman's duty to fulfill that role and you will make it so!"

I was so angry, that suddenly, I became lost for words. My throat was somewhat parched from all the yelling and my mind went blank.

"Well," I began, pushing back my chair. "At least I don't have caterpillar's for eyebrows!"

For some reason, that always struck a vein with Arthur. He got up to reprimand me, but I was already heading towards the stairs. As soon as I got to my bedroom, I slammed the door closed and put a chair against it. I faced the door and heard Arthur knocking on it.

"Alice! Alice!" This continued for a while and I dropped onto my bed. I waited for him to finally give up and descend the staircase once more before even moving again.

Another year I have to wait for him to come home and recount his stories about the world outside of London. I don't think I can take it much longer.

I turned onto my side and spotted my novel, lying on it's front cover on the floor next to me.

Then, something flickered in my brain and I smiled.

_**-TheNextAliceOwO-**_

To think that only a few hours ago, I was arguing with my brother at the dinner table. To be on his ship now was like a dream to me. I've been on it several times, but I've never actually sailed away on it. Although, I've always imagined myself leaning over the rail and admiring the ocean, not huddling in the broom cupboard in my brother's old clothing.

Everytime I heard footsteps approaching, my heart raced and I pulled my knees closer to my body and then relaxed as the footsteps faded away. Of course, I didn't plan on sitting in here the entire journey. Just until it was no longer possible to turn back. In the meantime, I just occupied myself by picking splinters out of my hands. Honestly, I may never climb a rope again.

My excitement began to build up as I wondered about what I might see along the way. I could only base it off the stories Arthur told me, so it was a bit difficult. But where are we going to stop first? America? Spain? France? My excitement caused me to lose focus of the situation and, quite suddenly, the broom cupboard door opened.

My heart stopped as I looked up at a handsome red-haired man who looked back at me with equal surprise. Suddenly, his surprise changed into a smile. He turned and beckoned towards someone, who soon came into view.

"Looks like a little girl wandered into the ship," the red-haired man chuckled mischeviously. "Whatcha think, Bill? Should we 'help' her?"

Although handsome, his face had a look that made me feel uneasy.

His friend narrowed his eyes at me. "Hold up, George, doesn't she look farmiliar to you?"

"Not that I can say," George replied. "Are you thinking of that harlot we saw at the tavern?"

_Excuse me? Damn you pirates!_

"No… No, not her. She's too young. And her chest isn't developed enough."

I felt a vein pulse in my head as the man said it.

"Yeah, that's true," George smirked. "But I wouldn't say no to her bouncing on my bed, if you know what I mean."

I finally had enough of them speaking as if I wasn't there. I stood up and pushed the brooms out of my way, my face burning up. "Do you know who I am?"

"No, but I have a feeling you're gonna tell us."

"I'm Alice Kirkland," I bristled. "You have no right to speak about me like that."

George looked at me with indifference in his eyes, but Bill turned pale.

"George… I think she's the captain's sister!"

_Captain? Well, that's new_.

"Is that so?" George smirked, obviously seeing a way to take advantage of the situation. "Should we get Captain Artie then?"

I held my breath. If they were to tell him now, my plan would be ruined.

George obviously saw me turn pale and grinned. He pushed the broomsticks out of the way and advanced towards me. I pressed myself against the wall, trying to get away from him.

"I can keep quiet you know," he put a hand on my cheek and breathed on me. His breath smelled horrible, so I looked away, wrinkling my nose in disgust.

"George, I don't think that's such a good idea," Bill said anxiously.

George ignored him and pulled at the collar of my (I mean, Arthur's really) shirt. "If you can keep quiet, I can keep quiet."

I began to panic as he began to unbutton my shirt. I tried to writh out of the way, but it was in vain. All I managed to do was make my cap fall off. My hair covered my eyes and I could no longer see his face.

"George!" Bill started in a panicked voice. George, again, ignroed him.

"What in blazes is going on here?" I felt the hand withdraw from my chest and I shook my hair out my eyes and my heart stopped to see my brother, in full piratical rig, standing right at the cupboard doorway. His expression changed from exasperation to pure anger.

"Alice," he began, obviously trying to keep his voice steady.

"Hi…"

"Bill, lead Alice to my quarters."

_**-TheNextAliceOwO-**_

_**A/N:**_ First chapter always sucks, so sorry. =3= I promise it'll get better! More character appearances, less OOCness, and humor and romance as well. ;D

Hope you guys enjoyed it! Please review. :3


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N:**_ To answer review questions:

They technically do live alone with the exception of their maid.

And also, I don't really think much of uk/fem!uk because it's kind of like self-cest or incest o.o So… Let's just leave it at that.

_**-TheNextAliceOwO-**_

When we got to my brother's cabin, I walked in, clutching my bag to my chest, without a word to that pirate's friend. When he closed the door behind him, I looked around the cabin and suddenly realized that I have never set foot in this part of the ship before. I walked around the room, trying to take in how messy it was compared to his room back home. Maybe that's because he's rarely at home, but either way…

Although I knew in the back of my mind that Arthur would mind very much if I looked through his stuff, my curiosity got the better of me and I looked through his bookshelf.

"Not interesting… Not interesting," I murmured to myself as I leafed through the classic literature that filled his shelf. As I began to lose interest in the shelf, I moved on. Nothing interesting on the desk… Nothing in the treasure chest…

Okay… This is somewhat interesting.

Sitting on his bed was a bunch of letters, spread out. Some were lying open as if Arthur had just read through them. Others were still in their envelopes, but obviously have been opened before. I wonder if any of these were mine…

I turned each envelope over in my hands. Amelia Jones? Alfred Jones? Could they be the ones who lived near the- No that's not right…

As I was musing over who these people could possibly be, I heard the door open and then slam shut.

I whirled around, expecting to see my brother, but instead saw a boy, maybe ten years old, wearing a sailor outfit. He didn't seem to notice me and focused intently on keeping the door closed.

"_Peter Kirkland! If you don't come back here…!"_ I heard an angry shout of boys rushing past the cabin, not even taking into account the fact that the boy had run into this cabin.

The boy who was obviously holding his breath in anticipation finally let out a sigh of relief. He turned around and jumped back in shock when he saw me.

"Captain?" he stammered in fright for some reason.

"What?" my eyes widened. "How on earth do I look like Arthur?"

The boy blinked a few times, trying to comprehend the situation, then narrowed his eyes at me. "Oh… No eyebrows…"

"Uh huh," I pushed the fact that he almost confused me for my brother aside. "Did they just say your name was Peter Kirkland?"

"The one and only!" Peter put a hand to his chest in pride. "The best lieutenant to the captain there is!"

"You're a lieutenant?" I asked in surprise. There was no way… A boy of that size…

"Well… Not really," he said sheepishly. "But I will be! After all, the position for lieutenant is wide open! And I'm the best ship's boy on the _Scones and Tea!"_

"_The Scones and…" Ahhh he's refering to the ship's name?_ I couldn't help but laugh a bit at my brother's lack of creativity. "Either way, your name's Kirkland? What a coincidence. Isn't that the captain's name?"

"Yeah, I'm his son."

I stopped laughing right at that moment and my mind froze. Son? _Son?_

"Um… Just out of curiousity… Who's your mother?"

Peter shrugged. "I dunno…"

"Is that so…" I began to ponder on this… Well, he is a pirate… Oh my gosh, what if he's the type of pirate that takes advantage of woman? That would be the worst! I'd-

"Miss? Miss!" I snapped back to reality and saw Peter waving his hand in front of my face.

"What?"

"I forgot to ask, what's your name?"

"Oh…" I had forgotten that I hadn't yet introduced myself, "I'm-"

The door slammed open and my brother appeared at the doorway, his face flushed with fury. He spotted Peter, then calmed down a bit. "Peter? Why are you here?"

"I was running from the other ship's boys…"

"And what did you do this time?"

"…I told them they fought like a bunch of girls."

Arthur put a hand to his brow and sighed. "Again? Peter, can you leave and we'll talk about it later?"

"What? You jerk, then they'll come after me again!"

"Well, then face it like a man! Besides, I need to talk to Alice."

"Alice…?" Peter looked at me, then his lips formed an "O" of realization. "You're Alice? Wow! Arthur's told me a lot about you!"

"That's 'Captain' you brat!"

"Is that so?" I said, ignoring Arthur. I couldn't help but glow a bit.

"Yeah, he told me about how you used to wet the bed when you were younger."

I felt a vein pulse in my forehead. I shot Arthur a piercing look.

Arthur looked somewhat troubled. "Uh, anyway, Peter please leave."

"Don't talk to your lieutenant like that!"

"You're not a lieutenant, Peter! Besides, I'm captain, I outrank you." Arthur picked up the struggling boy by the collar and tossed him lightly out of the cabin, closing the door behind him. He turned to me and cleared his throat. "Alice, we need to talk about-"

"_You told them?_" I was still horrified. "I thought we agreed not to let this out of the house!"

"I-I couldn't help it! They were talking about their younger siblings and I felt left out-"

"Then why couldn't you tell them something better?" I stomped my foot at him as if that would make him see reason.

"Well… That's besides the point!"

"And?" I glared at him intently and he stared back a mini staring contest ensued as we began to kind of communicate telepathically, arguing silently about my escapade.

"We're turning this ship around," he finally said, breaking the silence.

"No way! They're just going to mock me for failing again back in London!"

"Well, if you stopped trying stunts like this, maybe they'll stop mocking you!" Arthur turned towards the door to shout some commands at his crew and turn the ship around.

No. Fucking. Way.

I dove for Arthur's leg and latched myself onto it like a young child who's mother just left him at the nursery. "NO!"

"YES!" Arthur grunted as he attempted to drag himself towards the door. Maybe that extra weight was completely bad after all…

"Please!" I pleaded with all sincere yearning in my voice. "I don't want to go back! Every time I go I just sit there and wait for you to come home because you don't even send a single letter until half a year later! And you don't come back for years!" I felt Arthur stop in his tracks and I automatically knew my plan was working exactly as I planned.

"…Are you completely sure you want to come?"

I let go of his legs and nodded at him eagerly. "Yes! And I promise not to become a burden or anything!"

There was a moment of silence as Arthur thought this over. A bead of sweat trickled down my neck (how unlady-like) and my heartbeat echoed loudly in my mind. As he began to move his lips and give me his answer, I stopped breathing.

"Alright fine, but only on the trip to America and back," he said. I felt my heart leap with joy and suddenly felt like cheering loudly. "Until then, you can make yourself useful by teaching the ship's boys or something. And be careful of the other sailors." The last statement was said in a warning tone and I could tell that I should take this to heart. After all, my brother's crew or not, we were on a pirate ship.

I nodded and jumped to my feet, dusting off my brother's clothes, which were strangely more comfortable than my own.

"And for God's sake, Alice," Arthur shook his head at me. "Put on a dress!" And with that, he exited the room, shouting orders to everyone as soon as he put one foot out the door.

I rolled my eyes and began to unbutton the shirt as the door closed. Of course, I completely made up that whole loneliness thing! I mean, who would miss someone like _him?_ I mean, _especially_ someone like my idiot brother? Who doesn't even save his younger sisters letters and saves the letters from some Amelia Jones? I mean… and Alfred Jones… Whoever that is…

Well, maybe I missed him a little bit! Not that I'd ever tell him honestly.

_**-TheNextAliceOwO-**_

_**A/N:**_ Wh-what was… Quoi?

Anyway, next up… hmmm… I'm actually not sure what's up next, but I'll mull over it for a while and figure it out eventually… =w= Anyway, please review! Oh, and suggest any character appearance you want to see! I already worked out several of them, but suggest anyway! Thanks!


	3. Announcement!

_**ANOUNCEMENT!**_

For those of you who actually follow my fanfics, I'm sorry to say that I'm leaving this account and planning on starting fresh at some point. I feel like there's just no motivation with this account and I want to start anew in order to sort things out and move on from past fandoms. Therfore, I will be discontinuing many of the fanfics on here. Sorry

However, if time allows it, I will be continuing some fics such as _Eighth __Time__'__s __a __Charm_ and completely rewriting a fic or two, like _The __Piratical __Adventures __of __Alice __Kirkland_, although it probably won't have the same title anymore.

I hope you guys understand! :) Thanks for the run, I really appreciated it! I might post a link to my new account once I make it, so yeah. It was nice to have you guys reading my stories, and I hope I see some of you on my new account!


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